I Need to be Young Again

Panting, I hurried my steps through the stairs and barged into the emptied classroom. I have to get it. I just have to. I mentally urged myself. I began throwing things out of my locker including a thick novel. The book hit the white board and created a mark, but I didn’t mind. I have more important things to do than fix that stupid mark.

Aha! There it was. I picked up my mathematics notebook and started prancing towards the door when something hit the back of my head. I scratched the pained area, hoping it would lessen the throbbing. I turned back, curious to see who might want to hit me. Nobody was in the room when I entered minutes ago.

Then, a bright light filled the room. I tried to close my eyes to avoid the temporary blindness. All of a sudden, a meager voice boomed from nowhere. It said in a little girl’s voice, “Come, come and sit and see. Look through it and I’ll appear magically.” As if possessed or something, I unconsciously followed the command. I can’t move. Invisible hands clutched my head and positioned it towards the direction of the board. All I see is white, white and white, except for the mark that I have instigated. Slowly and quietly, blurry pictures began to appear. I can’t figure it out, but every second helps; the picture is becoming clearer and clearer. A little girl in her pajamas was gripping on to her snowy white stuffed bear.

I completely felt strange, weird and confused. We have the same black hair. The same big, brown eyes. The same meager pout. What does this supposed to mean? Then, it dawned on me. The little girl, sitting on her bed, looking out of the window was… me. Yes, she is, only she was years younger than I am. She’s like five or six.

She looked so happy, contented and comfortable just watching the silvery moon and the twinkling stars. And then I remembered how the night sky gives me comfort. A smile curled up in my face and for the first time in weeks, I felt better. Staring at her, I felt young, happy and carefree. I kept my eyes locked onto her. I guess we shared the very same heart at that very moment.

Unexpectedly, she turned her head towards me and looked me in the eyes. I can feel her stare penetrating deep down my insides. An innocent smile formed on her beatific face. I smiled back. I felt a creepy sensation as she spoke, “Aiza, yes, I am you, but a little you.” She chuckled at my expression. “You need to be free, happy and young again. You were really busy about school stuff. School isn’t everything, you know. It’s just a part of your dear life. I was bored, I never got the chance to get out of my shell. You were just ising your serious, adult self all the time. Give yourself and me a chance, pretty please. Just giggle and I am already there. I am still a part of you, remember?”

I realized that what she was saying was true. I badly needed to be out of worries once in a while. All I could manage to say was, “Thank you, little girl.” I stood up and felt a new ray of light shining upon me. I wanted to give her a bear hug. I trudged forward and was a few steps away when the board returned back to its normal state. She was gone, but I held on to the lessons that I’ve learned from her, from myself.

I never got the chance to hug her, but it was still a great moment. And so, feeling much better, I turned around and stepped out of the room. Giving the board a last glance. I said,

“I need to be young again.”

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